The play of the parents with
their children is supporting intelligence
specially because child's play is another level of
consciousness, and the relationship between child
and parents is broadened, and the brain gets new
and complement connections which are supporting
daily life mentally again.
But one should not exaggerate it, but 3 hours per
week with play of parents with their children
should be enough, for example during a constant
afternoon or on Saturday or on Sunday afternoon.
When plays are played open air on fresh air so
also health is preserved when the blood gets an
optimum of oxygen supply and the organs get the
optimal oxygen supply.
Also the play of children
with some more or less familiar members or with
known people is a great enrichment for the
children because the children can compare the
adult persons and this amplifies automatically the
intellectual horizon because the net of
connections will be bigger, and because one more
time more interconnections will be in the brain.
During playing with children the adults have the
task to limit the playing time at about 3 hours
per week, because this is enough, otherwise the
children will depend too much of the adult spirit
and own mental developments are partly lost, and
later will be the reproach that the adults had
"terminated" the child's play. During holidays
also longer plays are possible lasting for several
days.
Managing situations with soft humor and
flexibility
All in all adult persons in the game with children
have the task to manage the situation, but at the
same time not to loose their humor. Soft humor and
flexibility are wanted, so nobody will be hurt
mentally, but there should be also a soft humor
with the fellow human. One can call it also "humor
tickling".
The game master - these are the parents or other
adult persons - have to keep alive the game with
metaphors and comparisons, but on the right level
depending on the situation, otherwise also their
jokes will be boring.
Play situations are also therapeutic learning
situations
It can be that a play also gets a therapeutic
meaning when with a humorist situation things are
told which otherwise were never told, or when
there are parallels to real situations in life.
Whit this the parents always have the task
arranging the conversations so there will be no
defamation or bad words, but the parents should
"moderate" from case to case, or should also
change the subject and begin a new subject so the
child will be lead away from the bad black energy
because it cannot manage this yet.
Parents may not
underestimate their children then. When a family
is managed without violence (so, when no
brutalities or traumas are in the family blocking
the children's spirit), the children will develop
a good intelligence and memory capacity, and they
will remember well in the evening what was said by
whom, and in their dreams the whole is worked out
one more time and well "installed" in their
brains. When there has come up a "bad" situation
during the play, then this can be "mentioned"
again in the evening in a soft tone so the child
gets aware that a "bad behavior" provokes no
aggression of the parents, but it will also get
aware that it's behavior was not in order, and it
will get aware that it is wanted to change it's
behavior putting the switch of it's brain to "on"
and installing blockades against "wrong behavior"
not repeating this. In this way the children learn
that what is called self-control. This begins with
7 years - when the parents manage the situation
right.
Children playing among them
Children among them have a sense for "justice",
but in many situations they are mentally
overcharged and they don't see the solution in the
crises but it can be that there are "little
thefts" then when a child is "robbing" another
child something etc. and this happens often with
little children, not only in the sandpit, but
there will be snitched also little bells or
comforters.
It's also normal that a group of children between
7 and 11 years can manage a play in peace for half
an hour, but then suddenly a quarrel comes and one
child is crying because another child has lost
it's concentration for "justice" and has committed
something that has hurt the first one. That's why
supervisors on play grounds are always one more
safety for all children so such situations can be
"arranged" in a fast way so the play can go on.
From 11 years on, children mostly have developed a
"referee competence" and are trying to correct
themselves or are trying to solve conflicts by
their own "investigations". This process is very
important because this is the active mental step
for finding solutions of conflicts without
violence. This really begins on the play ground.
Groups of children do not see each other only on
the play ground, but in winter they also are in
flats and are playing there card games or board
games or computer games (the so called "winter
games").
From 11 years on one can also watch a sexual
separation. Boys don't have the girls in their
plays any more, and girls are waiting until the
boys are "adult" at least.
The end of a game
When after a certain time the children don't want
to play any more, then the play can remain as it
is and can be continued another day, or one can
put down the results, is cleaning up the game and
the next day the play will be reopened with the
result of the day before.
The same counts for situations when children want
to play without end whereas 22 o'clock has passed
already. One can remain the play where it is or
one can put down the result and can reopen the
game the next day beginning with the result of the
day before.
Age groups: Children playing simple plays
The development of a well dominated play instinct
can begin even with 2 years when the parents or
elder brothers or sisters are teaching the little
child some plays which are a mental stimulus for
the little child. Playing with little children is
developed with the play "give and take", "give and
bring", "take out and clean up", or little
children also like to play hide and seek playing
with tables, stools or curtains, and they love to
play with the visual contact etc.
One can combine these plays for little children
also with music instruments (rattles, flutes) and
by this one can develop great plays. Toys are
cleaned up in a case of wood because the case
should not rot when the child is sitting on it.
Cartoon case is not stable for little children,
so.
Wooden blocks as a play for children cannot be
suggested because these are more or less dead
forms for the child, also when the colors can be
"beautiful". With wooden blocks hardly can be done
anything.
When little children are present, there is the
suggestion to put all precious like CDs or statues
to higher levels in the case, and also passages to
"dangerous zones" in the flat should be ensured by
additional little doors, so the little child
cannot "intrude", but there is always a visual
contact to the parent's person. A baby chair can
be also a help putting the child into the baby
chair during critical situations, so there will
not happen "anything", but the visual contact with
the parents is always there.
When little children are 3 or 4 years old, then
the simple plays can be developed in parks or in
other public spaces. Also trees can develop as a
"center of plays".
Plays from 5 years on
With 5 years plays with figures can be played, and
from 7 years on also plays with texts can be
played.
When the weather is good some sports outside are
well done with fresh air, with or without parents,
in groups or also only two. And who is staying
inside during good weather should at least open
the window so the organism gets fresh oxygen.
Age groups: Different age groups playing a game
When children of different age groups want to play
a game, the different age groups are important.
It's for nothing when a 5 years old fellow is
playing Monopoly and hardly can calculate, but
this is a constant overcharge then. But one can
install this fellow at the side of an older
player, for example he can "hand out" money or can
move a token. In this manner the 5 years old
fellow will not only feel integrated, but will
also get the feeling of giving a "contribution".
Not always the same game
It is like this that with the election of games in
a family should be a balance of the desires. A
play has to please to everybody in some kind. And
all have their favorite games.
Parents can influence this problem in some kind
when parents are deciding which plays are bought
for the family. But there are also towns and
locations where a toy library so the children can
lend plays. With this the children have to learn
to give back a play without losing any token, and
at the same time the children should not fray the
game too much. One can see, a play from a play
library has really a therapeutic effect.
Stupid play covers - save play covers ore learn
to repair them
Children leave the play covers often without care
on the floor and then the children are stepping on
it ant the covers are rotten. Well, children
should learn to "clean up" the play covers under
the play box. Parents should teach them this
specially. Add to this children also should learn
how to repair rotten play covers, respectively how
rotten corners of play covers can be repaired: The
work goes with a massive sticky tape and scissors,
the corners are incised and in this way the scotch
also can be fixed around the corners.
Who will win? - The balance
When parents and children are playing it's not
important who is winning, but there should be a
balance with winning so everybody will won one
time. When the children are mentally subordinated
to the parents yet, so the parents should also let
win the children. With this the parent should not
mean that he or she should be "stupid" now, but to
let win a child is a very intelligent action let
relax the own intelligence, giving the child the
feeling that a parent does not want too dominant.
This will not only give to the child the feeling
to be accepted, but it learns also that parents
sometimes are "not so great", and may be there
will also be situations when adults need some help
from the children.
To learn how to keep plays complete
This is a very important point, that parents will
teach the children in a very calm kind that a play
has to be kept complete with all parts, so it will
be the same game also for the next day. Token,
dies or cards or table tennis rackets with balls
etc. have to be kept completely as a unity and
must not be lost, and cleaning up a game the
children also learn to keep order because the play
should not be lost, or the play will be even
continued the next day.
That means that cleaning up a game under the eyes
of the parents has also a therapeutic function
learning keeping something in order. This cleaning
up has got it's own "laws", who will clean up
what, with what will help the parents etc. When
the children will manage the cleaning up of a game
themselves (from about 8 years on when the
conception of order is well developed), then the
children also develop fun with cleaning up and
with keeping order, and it may be that children
will clean up a game by themselves when mother is
already cooking in the kitchen.
For children under 8 years
it would be an overcharge yet to clean up a game
in an order because the conception of order is not
firm yet. This means that the children know well
from 3 years on where is which door and which
room, but it's relatively not important if there
is lost something or not. They cannot conceive the
complex unity of a game - or one children is
highly talented and has got the instinct for order
with 4 years already. Then the parents will have
to do something when this child is going to
school. This child will learn all syllabus by
itself and will be in a special grammar school.
So, we see: Children's
play with parents is a real therapy of behavior
when the parents have got the talent for leading
the children with a soft humor and with
flexibility. IN "non developed countries" these
values of children's plays are hardly known, and
when plays are given there then only half of these
plays will exist yet in half a year, only half of
the tokens or mill tokens exist, and there are no
plays at all any more then.
This "keeping in order" eventually is also
transmitted to the school things and to the
wardrobe, eventually even to the kitchen when
children will learn cooking, and also to the
medicine chest when the parents are that
intelligent teaching the children the medical
basics.
Discover talents by playing
During the children's plays the parents also can
recognize which talents their children have. And
corresponding to this life of some children can be
formed already with some individuality.
Children from 11 years on don't want to have
parents in the play any more - but want them in
the background
Children from 11 years on mostly don't want to
have the parents in the game any more, because
they want to apply the thought structures by
themselves. Parents should not force oneself on
the play, but parents are partly "invited" then to
be part of a game when they want.
When there are forming playing groups coming from
the school, and when these groups traditionally
play some certain plays, then this is a great
development and the parents only have control
function in the back ground in the side room, or
the adults are performing a quiet activity at
another table in the same room. This quiet
presence of adults is wanted yet because children
between 11 and 16 years cannot solve conflicts
completely. When a group of children is left alone
for some time, a referee should be determined who
can contact the parents by phone when there are
some kind of heavy difficulties during the play.
Deficits and extreme behavior shown from 11
years on
Add to all, from 11 years on it's possible that
certain children show deficits concerning behavior
because certain parents have no humor in their
education, or because they don't play with their
children, or because the child has got an extreme
fear because it's always beaten at home, or there
can also be a concealed child abuse which is
showing with symptoms since the age of 11 with
extreme behavior etc.
That means: In this case children's play can also
have a diagnostic function. Examples of extreme
behavior can be:
-- when a child is saying "ugly" things again and
again, then one has to ask where these ugly words
are coming from, for example from an alcoholic
father, or from certain macho TV films, or from a
child abuse
-- when a child is
defining the play as it's existential important
center of his life, then it can be that in the
children's home never plays are played
-- when a child is beating another child because
nullities, then it can be that this child is also
beaten at home because of nullities
-- when a child is
laughing at another child without end, then
intelligence is missing maintaining the
intellectual balance
-- when a child is destroying the game because
it's loosing more and more, then there is missing
a mental "buffer" handling loosing games with the
point of view "it's only a game".
No children's play - and all automatic therapy
and many talent developments are canceled
When parents are never playing with their
children, then important factors of family life
are canceled which would be an automatic therapy.
Also many talent developments of the child never
will be detected. The child will feel always how
would be it's possibilities, but never gets the
chance to show this to his / her parents.
When the parents are never playing with their
children, then these children will be more
watching TV and mean that they had a "event" with
TB whereas there was not much "touching" going on
in their soul.
All in all the children's
spirit of children who have never plays with their
parents every week, this children's spirit is
stupefied and can be also not under control,
because many situations of life simply are not
trained when a family never plays any game. The
complete enrichment with the different play
situations is canceled, and many mental
connections and also nervous connections in the
brain simply will not exist then. Mental
flexibility will hardly be developed, trust in
adults will not be developed, and at the same time
the parents will also have less "connection" with
their children. Life will be limited to orders or
some "works", and parents often mean then that
preparing the food and washing clothes would be
enough for children.
At the end such parents
will wonder - when children's plays are never
played - that their children are less intelligent
in school than others, and the parents don't know
"what's going on", what is missing with their
children, why intelligence is that different, why
the child cannot think so well as others.
Unfortunately this reference is missing in the
Bible or in Koran or in Tora or in Buddha books:
A controlled play of parents with their
children is very, very important developing a
flexible, humorous, varied and mentally enriched
life.
And when the parents cannot do this, so other
adult familiar persons should do it.
Principally it's only
logic then that parents with addiction problems
hardly can play with their children because other
problems are dominating the family or in the case
of alcoholics these alcoholic adults never want to
loose a game because the alcohol has destroyed
their brain and common sense! Such children can
save themselves with neighboring families or
barely in day nurseries - when this institution
exists.
Also parents of worker families will put other
priorities, and children from other cultures than
Europe will not at all have any playing tradition
in their family, or they only know chess games
where one is defeating the other.
And it can also be that parents of rich families
are never playing with their children because of
"lack of time", and this is a catastrophe then
because a rich child is never considered "alone"
nor "neglected", but some really are and won't get
the normal therapy by plays either!
