IPEC (Integrated Physical Emotional Clearing) Therapy
is a sophisticated integrated treatment method. IPEC
is a combined healing method of
-- energy-psychology,
-- elements of oriental medicine,
-- kinesiology,
-- bioenergy,
-- elements of western medicine
-- and other sources [web01].
Investigation with IPEC
Investitation with IPEC have their base on
-- muscle testing, through which it's possible to
communicate with the subconscious mind
-- question paper data [web01].
The combination of muscle testing and the
comprehensive matrixes enables to get information
about the condition and about factors causing
illnesses [web01].
Diagnose and balancing energies After a clear evaluation and
diagnosis will be the energetic treatment balancing energies
with over 20 therapeutic possibilities. Healings follow
relatively fast in physical aspect, emotional aspect and
spiritual aspect [web01].
Training in 400 hours
from: http://ipectherapy.com/therapists-index/ [web02]
-- Certificate: 400 hours of training
-- Higher position "Senior": 40 hours additional training
-- Higher position "Professional Seniority": 40 hours
additional training for complex cases
-- Expert: 200 hours additional training with special IPEC
treatments, 2 years of IPEC treatments on patients entitled
"Professional Seniority"
-- Title "Teacher": At least 4 years of healing experience
with patient individuals entitled Professional Seniority,
personally certified by Uri Kenig.
Chicago Healers. The best practitioners. The
best referrals. The best results
If you are fed up with diets and looking to lose weight, you
are welcome to join my revolutionary program to lose weight
from the inside out. You can participate from the comfort of
your own home, at your own pace, while enjoying professional
support from me and my team.
Welcome to IPEC Therapy Integrated Physical Emotional Clearing
Leading therapeutic approach in body mind
medicine accurate assessment and a profound and
effective treatment of allergies, physical, emotional
and psychosomatic issues .
Dr. Uri Kenig, Ph.D., IPEC Therapy Founder
Doctor in clinical psychology expert in body mind
medicine area
His approach focuses in empowering the natural healing
apparatus
of the body that leads towards health issues and
illnesses resolution
enabling a return to whole health.
IPEC
Therapy, Inc. 16542
Ventura Blvd., Suite 320 Encino,
California 91436 Tel:
(818) 501-8029
========
IPEC Therapy Website Regulations
http://ipectherapy.com/website-regulations/
Browsing this website and its contents constitutes your
acceptance of the following rules and regulations.
This website was created as a general information center
for energy therapy, and more specifically IPEC Therapy.
The content provided is primarily educational, for those
who are seeking to expand their knowledge. Information
should be accepted with precaution.
Under all circumstances, the information, opinions,
links to other websites, bibliography, nutritional
supplements, health tips and advice expressed in this
website, are neither medical advice nor medical opinion.
This is not a substitute for medical treatments, care or
procedures. It is always advised that anyone suffering
from a physical or mental condition, seek the help of a
licensed healthcare professional first.
Any use of all or part of the information expressed in
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Under all circumstances, neither the owner of this
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and IPEC therapists, conducting psychotherapy as well as
between professionals from diverse modalities. All
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The intellectual properties of the names IPEC Therapy
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reserved to IPEC Therapy, Inc. The rights of the
professional books and articles presented in this
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Content on this website is provided for personal and
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teaching or developing for any applications other than
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The intellectual property of the design and structure of
this website belongs to IPEC Therapy®, Inc.
We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone
The Body-Mind Connection
http://ipectherapy.com/ipec-therapy-developers-dr-uri-kenig-dalia-kenig-m-a/body-mind-connection/
The notion that the body, mind and spirit are separate
systems is still prevalent in western society today.
Physicians attend to physical issues, while
psychotherapists attend to psychological issues. Today
there is a growing knowledge and research validating
that the body, mind and spirit are interlinked and
influence one another in many ways. Physiological
conditions influence the way we think, feel and behave.
Psychological issues play an important role in the
development of physical problems.
Stress
and the Body-Mind Connection
Stress activates the sympathetic nervous system,
stimulating the release of hormones, such as Cortisol
and Adrenaline. Prolonged stress results in many
physiologic changes including increased blood pressure,
inflammation which lowers the immune function to fight
illness, increases blood sugar, neurological and brain
function and slows the digestive process. Under normal
conditions these changes subside quickly, but chronic
stress, can keep the nervous system perpetually aroused.
Chronic stress increases the risk of developing diseases
such as heart disease, stroke, cancer, obesity,
depression, hypertension and more.
Energy
and the Body-Mind Connection
Thousands of years ago, traditional Chinese medicine
recognized the phenomenon of the Chi, the life energy
that circulates via energy pathways throughout the body.
This subtle energy flows through the meridian system
(channels) and affects organs, tissues and cells. Our
physical vitality and psychological health are strongly
affected by this energy. Any disruption or blockage, in
the flow and balance of the Chi can manifest in pain,
dysfunction and ill health.
IPEC Therapy works to bridge between body and mind. It
addresses psychological and physical aspects of problems
on a subtle energy level helping to restore vital energy
and health to body mind and spirit.
========
What is IPEC
Therapy?
http://ipectherapy.com/ipec-therapy-developers-dr-uri-kenig-dalia-kenig-m-a/what-is-ipec-therapy/
IPEC – Integrated Physical Emotional Clearing
IPEC Therapy® – is a holistic treatment approach that
offers relief and elimination of a wide range of
physical and psychological problems by addressing inner
causes for outer symptoms, working with the Energy
system within our body.
IPEC Therapy® is part of the emerging field of Energy
medicine which recognizes the powerful effect of the
subtle energy within our body in recovery and healing of
body and mind conditions.
IPEC Therapy® combines knowledge and interventions from
the fields of Psychology, Energy therapy, oriental
medicine (acupuncture), Kinesiology and other therapies
to trace and remove Energy blocks. The vital information
about the issues at hand is retrieved gently from the
body using Neuro Muscular Biofeedback™ and the Word Code
Analyzer™. Testing precise network of energy points
provides essential information about the nature of the
imbalances and the optimal interventions to dissolve
them.
IPEC Therapy® uses a verity of Energy applications to
infuse the body with energy that can reverse the cycle
of emotional pain and physical disease and support the
body and mind back into balance and health.
Dr. Uri Kenig, an Integrative psychotherapist
practicing in Encino, CA developed IPEC Therapy® in 1997
and since then have helped hundreds of patients
successfully resolve physical and psychological
problems.
Dr. Uri Kenig offers training and certification in IPEC
Therapy® and has trained so far over 1000 practitioners
internationally.
Who can benefit from IPEC therapy?
People with specific physical health concerns
IPEC Therapy is a complementary treatment to
medical care for symptoms and physical conditions.
This treatment is beneficial in enhancing recovery from
these issues:
Asthma & Bronchitis
Eczema & Other Skin Problems
Headaches
Allergies & Sensitivities
Insomnia
Diabetes
High blood pressure
Fatigue
Body pain
Post-Surgery
Injury
Digestive Tract Problems
Nervous System Problems
and more….
IPEC Therapy has been very helpful with people who can’t
get a clear diagnosis to their symptoms or find that
they are stuck on a merry-go-round of medical
professionals, therapies and medications without much
improvement with their problems.
People with Psychological concerns
IPEC Therapy provides effective treatment for a range
of emotional issues especially when feeling “stuck” in a
situation, repeating patterns of behaviors that don’t
serve you and hold you back from moving forward. IPEC
Therapy was found to be helpful with:
Stress
Depression
Anxiety
Phobias
Self esteem issue
Traumas
Eating disorders
Infant, children &
adolescents
Adjustment Issues
Grief & Loss
Sexual Difficulties
Hyperactivity
Personal Growth
Infants and Kids Concerns
IPEC Therapy® is very useful in treating infants and
kids since it requires minimal to no talking. Testing
precise network of energy points by touch, provides
vital information about the nature of the imbalances.
The therapeutic interventions are gentle and kids find
them to be pleasant and playful. This treatment is very
effective in helping with the following issues:
Colic
Allergies & Sensitivities
Ear infections
Digestive Difficulties
Skin Rashes
Breathing Difficulties
Frequent Colds & Flu
Separation Anxiety
Bed Wetting & Toilet Training
Tics & Twitches
Phobias
and more….
IPEC Therapy® is safe for all ages and works in harmony
with any medical treatment and/or any other treatment.
========
Who can benefit
from IPEC therapy?
http://ipectherapy.com/ipec-therapy-developers-dr-uri-kenig-dalia-kenig-m-a/who-can-benefit-from-ipec-therapy/
People with specific physical health concerns
IPEC Therapy is a complementary treatment to
medical care for symptoms and physical conditions.
This treatment is beneficial in enhancing recovery from
these issues:
Asthma & Bronchitis
Eczema & Other Skin Problems
Headaches
Allergies & Sensitivities
Insomnia
Diabetes
High blood pressure
Fatigue
Body pain
Post-Surgery
Injury
Digestive Tract Problems
Nervous System Problems
and more….
IPEC Therapy has been very helpful with people who can’t
get a clear diagnosis to their symptoms or find that
they are stuck on a merry-go-round of medical
professionals, therapies and medications without much
improvement with their problems.
People with Psychological concerns
IPEC Therapy provides effective treatment for a range
of emotional issues especially when feeling “stuck” in a
situation, repeating patterns of behaviors that don’t
serve you and hold you back from moving forward. IPEC
Therapy was found to be helpful with:
Stress
Depression
Anxiety
Phobias
Self esteem issue
Traumas
Eating disorders
Infant, children &
adolescents
Adjustment Issues
Grief & Loss
Sexual Difficulties
Hyperactivity
Personal Growth
Infants and Kids Concerns
IPEC Therapy® is very useful in treating infants and
kids since it requires minimal to no talking. Testing
precise network of energy points by touch, provides
vital information about the nature of the imbalances.
The therapeutic interventions are gentle and kids find
them to be pleasant and playful. This treatment is very
effective in helping with the following issues:
Colic
Allergies & Sensitivities
Ear infections
Digestive Difficulties
Skin Rashes
Breathing Difficulties
Frequent Colds & Flu
Separation Anxiety
Bed Wetting & Toilet Training
Tics & Twitches
Phobias
and more….
IPEC Therapy® is safe for all ages and works in harmony
with any medical treatment and/or any other treatment.
Breathing
exercises while sitting
Improper breathing can lead to shortness of breath,
makes it difficult to complete fitness activity and
result in overall low endurance. When we do strenuous
activity like exercise, optimal supply of oxygen is
needed to allow our muscles to operate efficiently,
lower our heart rate and maintain good energy level.
Correct breathing is key in developing good endurance,
burning more fat, preventing dizziness and increasing
overall fitness. Most people think that physical
exercise is the only way to develop desired endurance.
Not so. There is an effective, scientific way that is
not strenuous and can help improve breathe endurance
while…. sitting.
Scientists and researchers in Russia developed a
breathing training device that trains the body to
breathe efficiently, increasing oxygen metabolism to
every cell of the body. It is called the Frolov
Respiration training device. It is simple,
yet powerful and it is completely natural and drug free.
Using it mimics conditions of higher altitude,
which allows the respiratory system to utilize oxygen
most efficiently, strengthening the gentle fabric
of muscles of the respiratory tissues that is essential
for good breathing. The practice consists of breathing
into the device for up to 20-30 minutes daily, while
sitting. It is gentle, gradual and pleasant to do.
It trains the body to adapt new habits of
breathing that overtime become automatic. This is a
great way of improving your endurance in the comfort of
your home.
Dr. Uri Kenig
Link:
Why am I short
of breath after eating?
http://ipectherapy.com/general/short-breath-eating/
Breathing and
eating The main cause of
feeling short of breath after eating is most
commonly overeating. When we have excessive Intake
of food, the stomach becomes bloated and presses
against the diaphragm. In order to breath normally,
the diaphragm needs to expand, but when the stomach
is bloated the expansion cannot take place properly.
The result is distressed
breathing, fast and shallow. In this attempt to get
adequate supply of oxygen, we start to over breath,
inhaling through our mouth large amount of air that
stays in the upper part of our lungs, and cannot
properly transfer oxygen to the blood stream. The
more air is inhaled, the less oxygen actually gets
into our cells. It might take hours for the stomach
to digest the food, and allow breathing to get back
to normal. If overeating repeats itself, the body
might develop a vicious cycle of breathing problems
following overeating. To reverse this cycle, make
sure to eat smaller portions more frequently, and do
not over fill the stomach with solid or liquid
foods. I would recommend you to breath mainly
through your nose, and limit mouth breathing to
minimum. Develop breath fitness by learning to
breath using your diaphragm for maximum oxygen
supply. Breath is essential for survival and well
being; let’s use it efficiently!
Dr. Uri Kenig
Link:
Why Mouth Breathing May Hurt Our Health?
http://ipectherapy.com/general/mouth-breathing-may-hurt-health/
Mouth breathing Apart from the
embarrassment of being caught by your friends while
watching a movie with your mouth wide open, mouth
breathing is bad for your health.
Mouth breathing occurs
when we inhale and exhale air through our mouth rather
than using our nose. When air is inhaled through the
nose, it passes through the mucus membranes in the
nose passages and sinuses. This mucus in the nose
cavities is an immune system defense mechanism that
blocks allergens, viruses and bacteria from entering
the body though the respiratory system. Did you know
that for these reasons, mouth breathers are much more
susceptible to develop recurring bronchioles
infections, colds & flu, coughs, post nasal
drips and allergies than nose breathers? In terms
of dental health, breathing through the mouth can dry
the oral cavity and lead to bad breath, gum disease
and tooth decay. When breathing from the mouth, we
inhale a large volume of air at once; four times more
than the amount inhaled through the nose, which causes
over breathing and contrary to what many people
believe, it reduces the lungs capacity to utilize
oxygen efficiently and use it in our body.
Mouth breathing is a habit that can be changed. Try to
be aware to keep your mouth closed at most times, when
you don’t talk during the day. At night it is
recommended to use a special mouth tape to keep the
mouth from opening.
Restoring the habit of nose breathing will improve
your better overall breathing health, and will help
you stay healthy in so many other ways as well.
Dr. Uri Kenig
Link:
Breathing too much is actually breathing too
little
http://ipectherapy.com/general/breathing-much-actually-breathing-little/
Over breathing
It’s a day after election and no matter what are the
results, we are all breathing with a sigh of relief that
it’s all over. Speaking about breathing, did you know
that when you hold your breath for too long, your body
becomes hungry for air, sending a message to the lungs
to inhale larger amounts of air to compensate for the
air deprivation?
When we find ourselves
constantly holding our breath for too long, many times a
day, everyday, for long periods of time, we might be
under a lot of stress. Then, the lungs will try to bring
in as much air as it can via inhalation, mainly from the
mouth and not from the nose, way much more of what the
lungs are capable to process. The more air is inhaled,
the less the body is receiving it, and a new habit of
OVER BREATHING is formed. Before too long, If it is not
being changed soon back to normal, this new habit
becomes the fertile ground to the formation of all kinds
of breathing difficulties, stemming from too little
breathe reaching the entire body.
Dr. Uri Kenig
Link:
Reduced Stress in healing Asthma
http://ipectherapy.com/general/reduced-stress-healing-asthma/
Many people don’t know that stress, both personal and work
related can be a major trigger for asthma. Financial
worries, strained family relationships, loss and grief,
anger, panic, upset, yelling and crying can easily trigger
an asthma attack.
Just as air pollution, pets and allergies can cause an
asthma flare so does uncontrolled stress.
Why is that so? Research
tells us that stress doesn’t only affect the mind, it
affects the body too, and the physical reactions to stress
take place instantly. Anxiety and upset can cause the
muscles around the airways to tighten, cause breathing to
become fast and shallow.
Feeling worried and overwhelmed tends to also activate the
stress hormones and the immune system and cause an
increased productions of mucus, symptoms of whizzing and
swelling and further obstruction of the airways. All these
cause an increasingly shortness of breath that sooner or
later brings on an asthma attack.
People who experience on going emotional stress in fact,
develop stressful habits of breathing, and continue to
breathe in this manner on a daily basis. As a result,
periodic asthma attacks turn into a chronic condition.
Doctors claim asthma is an incurable chronic condition. I
say that the chronic condition in most asthma cases is the
habit itself and it is possible to reverse it. The
truth is that our body and mind can help us regain healthy
normal breathing if we only give it a chance.
Breathing habits are learned behaviors that can be changed
by retraining your respiratory system to breathe normally
again, in a relatively short time. Over time, the new
habits become automatic and the effects on breathing are
amazing.
Learning how to calm your body and mind and how to
deal with everyday stress effectively without “stressing
the body” is essential in protecting your lungs and immune
system from overreacting and producing respiratory
symptoms.
Dr. Uri Kenig
Link:
Tenderness Is Helpful For Your Well Being
http://ipectherapy.com/general/tenderness-helpful-well/
Did you know
that hugging, embracing and cuddling are a great
way to increase overall well being?
Researches found that cuddling or even a brief hug has
a very positive affect on our stress levels and it
also helps to increase our ability to connect with
others, loved ones or even strangers. Experts who
research the biology of hugging trace it to the
hormone called Oxytocin
also known as the love hormone.
A simple embrace seems to
increase levels of Oxytocin
and researches found this chemical compound has a very
positive affect on our body and mind. The Oxytocin
boost seems to calm the nervous system, activate the
parasympathetic nervous system, reduce blood pressure
and lessen many stress related symptoms and pains.
It creates a calming effect that can carry
through for a few hours or even the whole day.
But that is not all, hugging especially with your
loved ones; partners, family members and friends
increases the bond you have with them. It allows
powerful non verbal communication that vibrates love,
acceptance and understanding to be felt immediately,
without barriers or delays.
Touch is a wonderful natural way to increase our well
being, so don’t forget to include it in your daily
life.
Dalia Kenig, M.A.
Link:
Respiration Power for Jogging
http://ipectherapy.com/general/respiration-power-for-running/
People who jog, tend to focus on training their muscles
and improving their heart fitness.
This is all good yet, there is another aspect to running
that tends to be overlooked – Breathing. The way we
breathe and the condition and fitness of our respiratory
muscles, especially the diaphragm makes a big
difference!
An average jogger tends to be a chest breather, moving
his shoulders up and down, inhaling and exhaling through
the mouth. The problem with this kind of breathing is
that it draws minimal air into the lungs. Most of the
air inhaled in this fashion stays in the chest which is
the upper part of the lungs. It doesn’t get into the
lower part of the lungs, which is rich with air sacks
and blood vessels. This is the place where oxygen enters
the blood stream and then delivered thought-out the
body.
When jogging, muscles need a good supply of oxygen to be
able to move the body, but when our air sacks don’t get
enough oxygen, muscles get fatigued and running becomes
really difficult.
So if you want to improve your jogging, get renewed lung
power by developing correct breathing pattern.
Efficient breathing involves breathing through the nose,
slowly drawing air to the lower part of the lungs. When
taking a breath, 80% of the work should be done by the
diaphragm which in turn, prevents fatigue and improves
overall endurance.
It may be hard to break the habit of chest breathing
while you run, trying to keep the pace. I believe that
when you practice breathing through the nose, using your
diaphragm in rest, your body will be able to adapt this
new habit to running conditions, hence, improve
significantly body’s oxygenation and increase overall
endurance. It can make your jogging a breeze.
Dr. Uri Kenig
Link:
Perfectionism – a warning sign for
Postpartum Depression
http://ipectherapy.com/general/perfectionism-warning-sign-postpartum-depression/
Having the expectation of becoming the” ideal mother”
to your “perfect baby” can spell trouble and put any
mother at risk for postpartum depression.
I know the fantasy we moms have in our mind, that
picture perfect motherhood we wish to have, yet the
reality is very different, still wonderful, but in
different ways. Motherhood is messy and sometimes
you may even wonder “can I really do it? “ Between the
pressures, frustrations and the unpredictability of the
daily life you can feel overwhelmed and feeling like you
are spinning out of control. Life is not the same after
having a baby. We all have to make adjustments to the
new realities of motherhood and our expectations and
embrace the changes that come along with it.
Women who have the tendency for perfectionism are much
vulnerable to develop postpartum depression. Why?
because their expectations from themselves are so high
and uncompromising in the face of the reality. They
constantly fall short of their own standards which can
be extremely stressful. It usually triggers feelings of
out of control, panic, anger, guilt and shame that
over time can bring despair, depression and eventually a
mental breakdown. Perfectionists often live under
chronic stress that wears not only their mind but the
bodies as well. They are prone to get sick and can
develop chronic physical conditions.
We all have to realize that there is a big difference
between striving for perfection
and being a perfectionist.
Striving to perfection means that you try to do
everything that you can to succeed and
accept your best whatever it is. Perfectionists will do
everything possible to not fail
and judge themselves terribly when failing.
Are you that mom who is trying so hard to finish your
never ending to-do list at all cost? Do you focus on
shortcomings in yourself or others, being critical to no
end? Immobilized by fear of failure, believing that you
are inadequate?
Perfect motherhood is a fiction that doesn’t exist in
real people navigating through the ever-changing
complexities of real life. It is a joy killer. How
can you let yourself enjoy the important things
when constantly looking for your imperfections?
If you struggle with perfectionism you have to defeat it
or else it will defeat you. Choose Connection over perfection. Put
your priority on connecting with your baby, yourself and
others, allowing yourself to experience love, joy
and peace of mind. Stop comparing, it’s impairing.
If this was simply an observation, that would be one
thing, but in comparing yourself to others, you judge
yourself and end up feeling inadequate again… Heal wounds of shame. I am talking
about this constant inner critical voice that says you
are wrong, inferior and worthless. This voice that
doesn’t allow you to feel good enough and whole and
makes you feel ashamed at yourself.
If you realize this is the wrong path for you to walk
in, struggling with the dark side of perfectionism and
shame, step into the light. Reach out for help and get
the right psychotherapy on the path of healing your
shame, growing and finding the best of who you really
are.
Dalia Kenig, M.A.
Link:
Does your Relationship hurt your Health?
http://ipectherapy.com/general/relationship-hurt-health/
Does relationship improve your physical health? During
the last two decades research clearly shows that people
who live together in a long-term relationship, are
physically healthier and their life span is longer.
Research also shows that relationships affect positively
the joy level of the partners, their self esteem and
career success.
Research shows more than
that; people who got hurt physically and/or mentally
from reasons unrelated to the relationship, will recover
faster and more effectively when they are in
relationship, in comparison to those who are alone.
That said, one can conclude that being involved in a
relationship can really support body and mind health; Is
that so?
I observe these “truths” through a couple’s therapist’s
glasses and wonder in my heart if these studies reflect
what I am witnessing when I’m working with couples and
families.
Please don’t get me wrong; I fully believe in the
strength and the added value that relationships
contribute to the physical and mental health of the
partners. Yet, at the same time, I wonder what happens
to the physical and mental health of the partners when
they fall into the deep well of crisis and conflict.
What happens when endless fights and mutual blaming
substitute loving and gentle communication? What happens
when conflicts create long term mutual hurt, resentment,
bitterness, distance, that can wear down rapidly the
trust and love that used to preside until not too long
ago. I find out that prolonged dispute in the
relationship is badly affecting not only the happiness,
but, it wears down the physical health. Symptoms start
to show up, minor flu and colds find their ways easily
to the bodies of the partners, and when there are no
solutions in the horizon, these become a fertile ground
to the development of more serious diseases.
Researchers in the medical school in UCLA, found in
their studies connections between the presence of
negative relationship and development of inflammation,
high blood pressure, and even connections to
processes’ development of heart problems and cancer.
Prolonged periods of high stress within the
relationship, undoubtedly hurt essential body systems
like immune system, endocrine system and more systems
and inner organs.
The typical emotion prevalent in couples living long
periods in unsatisfying relationships is loneliness.
This long term emotion causes to an on growing
deprivation in love and connection which can cause a
deterioration and decrease in the partners’ livelihood
and life energy.
Unresolved loneliness and emotional pain might increase
the general feelings of pessimism, exhaustion,
depression and allergies development, and I found many
times in therapy, that these are connected to loneliness
and pain in relationships. Many times, spouses are
surprised to reveal the connection between their
emotional issues and physical symptoms.
An interesting aspect with bad relationships are couples
who look like they are in good relationships but
appearance of physical symptoms and disease in one of
the partners or both, contribute to a rapid peeling of
the couple’s facade, exposing under the “harmonious”
relationship lots of pain and loneliness.
It’s only after the spouses start to genuinely
communicate with each other and mutually expressing
their hearts, that health in body and mind has a real
shot in being restored. Couple therapy
can be the first stop in the process.
Dr. Uri Kenig
Link:
The difference between being interested and
being committed
http://ipectherapy.com/general/the-difference-between-being-interested-and-being-committed/
Surfing on the internet I came across this wise
distinction between being interested and being committed;
ENJOY
Seven key differences between being interested
and being committed
1.) If you are interested, you show up
sometimes. If you are committed, you show up all the
time.
2.) If you are interested, when things get
tough, you give up and move on to your next
“interest”. If you are committed, no matter how
tough things get, you find a way over, under, around or
through obstacles.
3.) If you are interested, you dabble in a
bunch of interests. If you are committed, you
concentrate your energy on achieving a much shorter list
of objectives. In short, you focus.
4.) If you are interested, you are easily
distracted and often fall victim to shiny object
syndrome. If you are committed, you are so focused
that you often don’t even notice the irrelevant shiny
objects around you.
5.) If you are interested, you don’t set
goals; rather, you just let it happen. If you are
committed, you set goals in a way that maximizes the
probability you will achieve them, and you regularly
monitor your progress.
6.) If you are interested, you let the fear of failure and other
fears keep you from achieving your objectives. If
you are committed, you realize that every “failure” is
just another step in the direction of achieving your
goals.
7.) If you are interested, you allow
perfectionism to inhibit your progress, working
hand-in-hand with fear of failure to limit your
success. If you are committed, you understand that
perfectionism is the enemy and you continue to make
forward progress, even if each step is not perfect.
Many of us, including moms have an automatic assumption
that all moms will bond with their babies right away
after birth, right?
The reality is that it’s not the experience EVERY mom
necessary has at first sight.
Falling in love happens differently for every mom
depending on her internal and external circumstances,
personality, as well as the baby’s temperament.
Moms who struggle with postpartum challenges, are more
vulnerable to experience delay in falling in-love with
their babies.
What is the connection?
Moms with postpartum anxiety and depression feel
overwhelmed with a HUGE sense of sadness and grief. They
feel lost and defeated with their new reality and often,
can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Feeling like on a crazy roller coaster or in a deep
hole, it’s not necessarily the right state of mind to
fall in love with anyone, even not your own precious
baby.
Every mom has her own personal experience of entering
motherhood. It can be filled with mixed emotions and
unique circumstances.
Things don’t always happen the way we expect or hope
for.
Expectations to feel some crazy love for our newborn can
drive anyone to feel like a horrible mother being
immersed in negative self-judgments. Being a mom can
feel intimidating and un gratifying sometimes unlike
what was expected to feel like.
Personal insecurities and not feeling ready for the new
reality, can shake the mom’s confidence in her ability
to form a secure bond with her baby. Anxieties about the
baby can make it difficult to relax and go through the
motions.
Depression is so dark and encompassing, it’s hard to
feel JOY and HOPE about anything. Emotional numbness can
set in due to fatigue, overwhelming stress and emotional
pain.
It is so difficult to talk about these feelings too,
without feeling shame, embarrassment, and fear to be
judged by others.
Now, how can a suffering mother expect to fall in love
with her baby when she’s feeling all of that on the
inside!
If you are a mother in crisis, I know you might lose
faith in yourself and in the possibility of getting
better. You must know and believe that you have the
capacity to bond with your baby, even if you still don’t
feel it right now.
The truth of the matter is that you can’t rush love and
you can’t force it. You have to develop and nurture it
and it will grow and blossom, guaranteed!